If you follow my blog, you already know that I decided to reflect and write about my life. The plan is to unpack every stage, see it from different dimensions, open to the truth, allow myself to live and feel through every aspect, especially the unlived ones. The purpose is to set free, heal, simplify and clear the way. Stephen Levine wrote that ‘Caring enough for our life to enter it, to explore and heal it, even the hard personal truths that burn are beautiful because they are the truth.’
I was very enthusiastic to start and thought that the first few years would be easy to write about. Was I surprised to find out that it was not easy at all! It was extremely hard. I got stuck at my birth! I started to ask myself the following questions (which are always good questions to ask when you start a new project):
- What makes this ‘life review’ exercise important to me?
- How committed am I to working on this?
- What are the internal and external barriers I’m facing?
I became aware of feelings of ‘fear of rejection’ or ‘fear of stigmatisation’ in the back of my mind. My mind wanted to disguise the painful shadows whereas my heart wanted to forgive, be grateful and set it free. While working through the questions I came across the following writings:
- ‘Each tree grows in two directions at once, into the darkness and out to the light, with as many branches and roots as it needs to embody its wild desires.’ John O’ Donohue.
- ‘When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending. Owning our stories is standing in our truth. It’s transformative in our personal and professional lives and it’s also critical in our community lives. ‘Brene Brown
We tend to look at other trees and wonder why it is so easy for them to have so many branches when it feels as if we only grow roots. The reason is we only show the world our branches. If we do share, we tend to show a part of the story, a root, and not the whole root structure. That can be misleading. Instead of encouraging others it can be discouraging.
I realised that my roots are just as important as my branches. I also realised that if I want to live out of /in line with my truth (which is my mission in life) I need to be able to stand in my truth (which is my whole story). I need to be courageous enough to show the world (not that the world is reading my blog) my roots. It is my roots that give me the strength to grow and live in the light