Have you ever experienced resistance towards something you know will be good for you? It may be a goal that you want to achieve, a project or exercise routine you want to start or an unhealthy habit you want to change. Yet, you just can’t seem to get yourself to do it.
You walk pass someone with a Nike T-shirt on that in bold letters state “Just do it”. You think, “yes, that is what I must do – I will start tomorrow – this was the sign I was waiting for”. But when you wake up the next day there are a hundred reasons that your mind dishes up as to why this moment is not the right time to start and tomorrow will be better. Will it be? Isn’t tomorrow also the moment?
The thinking-mind loves to keep us trapped in either the past or the future. The thing is that as long as we are holding onto an old story or keep on fantasizing about a better future, change won’t happen. Change can only happen in the present moment. Change only happens when we cross the gap between knowing and doing. The bridge to cross that space is to connect with your body, your breath, your “enoughness” in this moment. Because the truth is you don’t need to change anything about yourself before you can start the process of connecting to you. As you are right now is exactly how you need to be.
We can have a very deep intellectual or even psychological understanding of the reasons why we are behaving the way we do. Which may offer us some comfort or even justification. However, it doesn’t move us over into action. In saying this I’m not saying that you must not seek deeper understanding in whatever therapy modality – not at all. Everything has its place depending on where we are in your own process. Sometimes, we need to first have a better understanding before we can move over into changing our way of being.
I’m inviting us to become curious about our habitual ways of resistance to start. As at times they may seem very “noble” or “self-actualising” but when we look closer it is an ingrained pattern of disconnection from the body. I’m writing this blog not to point a finger at anyone as I’m currently observing my own resistance to start a project I’ve been postponing for a long time. I can feel how my thoughts are literally drawing me down. The more I attach to the excuses in my mind I sense a heaviness that creeps in my head and upper back. It feels like a spider web that is getting weaved tighter with each thought. Which does then impact my emotions and lead to more contraction on various levels. Falling back into the old – all too familiar shape.
I realised that the doing is more about undoing. It is not about adding another thing to do on the already long “to-do” list. It is definitely not about adding another thought or reason to the pile of excuses. It is rather about disconnecting from the thoughts. Allowing it to move to the background (as it is not always possible to turn it off completely) and moving your attention to your body. Intimately starting to get to feel how resistance feel in your body, in this moment. We are not trying to feel the resistance in order to change the sensation. We are connecting to the sensation to enable a deeper connection to the moment. In doing that we are building our capacity to be with feelings of resistances but not allowing it to keep us from starting.
This way we start to embody our own vulnerability. We start to embody all of us even our own resistance -as that too is part of us. We learn to welcome and not avoid our resistance. The doing part then organically unfurl from that intimate connection with self. This blog is the first petal from that vulnerable space. What will be yours?